[ Nanami tips his head in greeting to her before he enters. He is glad -- relieved -- that she seems to be doing all right despite, well, everything. Indeed, he can say that he was coerced by the powder, but it was something that he wanted; saying something is beyond his control is the argument that children and untrained dogs can make. ]
No, it is enough that you've welcomed me. [ He shakes his head, dismissing the idea of taking more from her, as he sits down in the living room. Folding his hands in his lap, he lets out a single sigh. ]
There is no good way to start this conversation. But I believe in all things a person must be sincere.
[ Her smile falters just a bit. Did that mean he didn’t want to stay long?
She follows after, taking a seat on the couch next to him but leaving him some room. Her own throat feels a bit dry as he started, her fingers fiddling with one another. ]
I’m sorry!
[ It comes out, not exactly in the way she practiced. Her eyes are squeezed shut, as if she was expecting some kind of scolding. ]
[ His eyes widen a little beneath his sunglasses at her sudden apology. He had only paused in what he was saying to allow his words to sink in, but it seems like they had the opposite effect.
He reaches out to rest his hand over her own, giving them a small squeeze. ]
I felt as though those were my words. It may seem wrong to say so... but I do not regret what happened. [ That much he should say. ] The only regret that I have is that both of us were not quite in our own minds.
I had been concerned that you were holding in some ... blame and anguish due to that... and wished to alleviate those feelings for you.
Even if I do not know about you, I know of who you are.
[ He shakes his head at her comment that she is not as proper as he believes her to be. ]
It may be callous of me to say, but one's past is not what defines them. The mistakes that we have made... the errors in our living... we can only take steps to correct them so we can live lives that we can say we are proud of, Miss Alex.
[ Nanami feels like he is burying a knife in her by saying something so flippant. He understands the wounds that one's actions or life can leave on a person; he understands how it can poison someone to where they cannot believe their life is worth anything.
But he does not want her to live such a poisoned, painful existence. He realizes it may be egotistical of him, but he wants to save her from herself. ]
[ There still so much about here…so much she didn’t want him to know of. Would he be able to say such warm things after? Though for her, they only pushed down the guilt already weighing on her shoulders, past mistakes that still loomed above and followed.
But this was about them right now. ]
Then are we— what we did, is it a mistake you want to correct?
[ She wasn’t offended if he felt that way, though it did still sting to say out loud. ]
[ Nanami shakes his head as he answers simply to her question. The two of them felt guilty over having "forced" the other, but it was not the case. He believes in sincerity above all things, and so he holds his hand out to take hers. ]
It is not a mistake if it was something that we both wanted.
[ Holding his hand in silence like this felt…a bit more intimate than she’s accustomed to. She starts to fidget, looking around for something to take her mind of it. ]
Then— that’s settled, right? Neither of us did anything wrong.
[ A kind of relief she hopes to get used to. ]
Still I…I’ll be more careful next time…
[ Jumping him the way she did in that alleyway…
Just thinking about it was burning her face with embarrassment. ]
no subject
[ Nanami tips his head in greeting to her before he enters. He is glad -- relieved -- that she seems to be doing all right despite, well, everything. Indeed, he can say that he was coerced by the powder, but it was something that he wanted; saying something is beyond his control is the argument that children and untrained dogs can make. ]
No, it is enough that you've welcomed me. [ He shakes his head, dismissing the idea of taking more from her, as he sits down in the living room. Folding his hands in his lap, he lets out a single sigh. ]
There is no good way to start this conversation. But I believe in all things a person must be sincere.
no subject
[ Her smile falters just a bit. Did that mean he didn’t want to stay long?
She follows after, taking a seat on the couch next to him but leaving him some room. Her own throat feels a bit dry as he started, her fingers fiddling with one another. ]
I’m sorry!
[ It comes out, not exactly in the way she practiced. Her eyes are squeezed shut, as if she was expecting some kind of scolding. ]
I…I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.
no subject
[ His eyes widen a little beneath his sunglasses at her sudden apology. He had only paused in what he was saying to allow his words to sink in, but it seems like they had the opposite effect.
He reaches out to rest his hand over her own, giving them a small squeeze. ]
I felt as though those were my words. It may seem wrong to say so... but I do not regret what happened. [ That much he should say. ] The only regret that I have is that both of us were not quite in our own minds.
I had been concerned that you were holding in some ... blame and anguish due to that... and wished to alleviate those feelings for you.
no subject
You really…don’t regret it? Even if…you don’t know about me?
[ About what she was. What she could never escape? ]
I’m not…as proper as you think I am.
[ Surely someone with such pure morals would find some disgust if he knew. ]
no subject
[ He shakes his head at her comment that she is not as proper as he believes her to be. ]
It may be callous of me to say, but one's past is not what defines them. The mistakes that we have made... the errors in our living... we can only take steps to correct them so we can live lives that we can say we are proud of, Miss Alex.
[ Nanami feels like he is burying a knife in her by saying something so flippant. He understands the wounds that one's actions or life can leave on a person; he understands how it can poison someone to where they cannot believe their life is worth anything.
But he does not want her to live such a poisoned, painful existence. He realizes it may be egotistical of him, but he wants to save her from herself. ]
no subject
But this was about them right now. ]
Then are we— what we did, is it a mistake you want to correct?
[ She wasn’t offended if he felt that way, though it did still sting to say out loud. ]
no subject
[ Nanami shakes his head as he answers simply to her question. The two of them felt guilty over having "forced" the other, but it was not the case. He believes in sincerity above all things, and so he holds his hand out to take hers. ]
It is not a mistake if it was something that we both wanted.
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So…he had wanted it too. A small smile spreads on her face, a pleasant feeling tickling at her. ]
Then…you don’t have to apologize either.
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the warm relief that he did not hurt her and the affection that he has even in the brief conversations that he has had. ]
All right. I won't do so, then.
no subject
Then— that’s settled, right? Neither of us did anything wrong.
[ A kind of relief she hopes to get used to. ]
Still I…I’ll be more careful next time…
[ Jumping him the way she did in that alleyway…
Just thinking about it was burning her face with embarrassment. ]