sing_for_me | PSLs/Memes/AUs

I'm not kissing just anyone, though.

[ He's utterly confused now. ]

I thought it was okay to kiss your human. You liked the other kiss.

The other one was more like a friendly kiss! This one is..it's more romantic.

[It felt so awkward trying to explain this.]

You..normally save that for a partner.

It's just affection.

[ Humans really had weird distinctions with all this stuff. ]

Is it that you didn't like it?

[Well..he wasn't wrong.]

It's-It's not that I didn't like it...

[On the contrary, it felt quite pleasant. But that wasn't the point.]

I just think it's something you save for someone you really like..or love.

[Now she just felt cheesy.]

[ She might feel cheesy, but Shizuo listened to that very intently, having been trying to understand, and it was easy to see his ears droop down. Because he took that to mean something more, and how she felt. ]

I see... Okay, I get it now.

[His reaction..worried her.]

Shizuo..? Did..I say something..?

You said enough.

[ Which is why he's shrugging off her hand and scooting over to lean over the arm of the couch instead. ]

Eh..?

[When he shrugs off her arm, Alex feels a pang in her chest. She crawls over to where he is, very much concerned and worried.]

Are..are you mad?

I'm not mad.

[ Just hurt and moping. ]

But you’re upset... Shizuo, come on..please talk to me.

[She tugs at his sleep helplessly.]

What did I do..?

[ He shrugs his arm away, still in high sulking mood. ]

You don't want to be my human.

[ There's more words on how he interpreted what she said, but that was the ultimate takeaway. How he may as well live out on the streets again as a stray. ]

[Another pang]

Of course I do..! I told you how happy it makes me, didnt I?

[She doesn’t try to reach for him again though, not wanting to feel that rejection again— ah.]

Is..is it because I said not to kiss me on the lips..?

You don't really like or love me, though. I said you were mine... And you said shit like that.

[ Though he doesn't quite realize that Alex didn't get the extent of what really meant. ]

I do!

[There was no hesitation in her answer. But she definitely didn’t understand what he meant exactly by his words. By ‘’mine’ did he mean in that way..? It’s not that she didn’t see him as a man, since she did set those boundaries with him still, but she didn’t think he’d view her in that way, or that she would him.]

I’m sorry I hurt you Shizuo..I didn’t mean to. I..I don’t know what kissing means for cats.. but with humans, it..well it varies.

Kissing is affection and other things. It's not that different from humans.

[ Yet he was still sulking, resting and rubbing his head into the couch arm. ]

You said all that like I'd do it to anyone. It's not like I claim anyone as mine. You're the only one... I thought you understood what it meant.

I’m sorry... I don’t.. not really.

[Her shoulders slump as she looks down at the couch, then back at him. She’s new to this, not just having a cat, but understanding different kinds of affection. She knew the basics..but just from what she’s observed.]

So can you tell me what it means..?

[ He frowns, not because he's particularly mad- no, he's been hurt more than angry in this- but because he didn't know how to explain it completely. It was a thing that all pets used and understood. Was it even possible for a human to understand? ]

It means a lot. That I'm comfortable and like you and this place enough to decide it's mine. My home and everything. It's not like you're the first one that's tried taking me in...

[ He was very attractive, even if he wasn't a pedigree. ]

But I chose you when you decided to help. Of course I'd lick up any mess that gets on you, or kiss you out of affection. I'd give you sex if you wanted or needed it too, because your mine. It's not stuff I do to, or for, just any person.

[Alex gets flustered at that last bit. Is that what he did with the people that have taken him in before? That..didn’t sit too well with her.]

But that doesn’t tell me what it means. There’s a difference with needing or having to do something and wanting to.. !

[This was turning into something a bit more heated..and Alex didn’t intend for it to go that way. But it might also be partly because he just offered sex so easily like that.]

[ He knew that he wasn't explaining very well. He didn't know how to say all of this in a way a human would get. The frustration on both sides certainly have his ears pinned down, practically hiding in his hair. ]

It means I chose you. The only one I have. I wouldn't even be willing to do any of that if you weren't. I want to, so I'll do that stuff if it's needed or wanted, because I already decided that I'd like and be okay with it.

[But did he feel the same— same as what? Her own thoughts made her pause and pull back. It wasn’t the first time he said he’d chosen her, but she did remember the feeling she gor when he did.

Now she was getting confused with her own thoughts and feelings. And it looked like he was getting more frustrated too. Then there was that thought of him with other humans that was still nagging at her.]

...Sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice. I’ll just.. I think I’ll head to bed early.

[Getting up from the couch, she heads to the bedroom and crawls into bed and under the blanket. She’s adding embarrassment at her inmaturity on top of that list of screw ups she just made.]

[ It was the clearest he could be, so when Alex gives up and decides to go to bed, Shizuo stays where he is on the couch to sulk for a little while.

Until, for the first time ever, the apartment felt too small.

Quietly, and completely forgetting about the part where you leave an apartment with keys to get back in (he's not used to these things,) Shizuo slips out the door to get a walk. For the fresh air, and to jump where people couldn't get to him for a little while, and worry that he was going to lose his first home because he did a lot of things wrong that night. It may be chilly, but that generally didn't bother him. Not until he felt like he wanted to go back.

Only to be kept locked outside. ]

... I really am a fuck up.

[Alex actually ended up taking a short nap. She gets up eventually, rubbing at her eyes as she looks around the room. It was so..quiet.

Ah, that’s right. She had a fight with Shizuo. Wanting to check in him, she gets out of bed and exits the room. Hopefully he wasn’t still mad at her..]

Shizuo?

[Silence. Which..wasn’t common. The apartment wasn’t big, so she didn’t have to look around too much to see he wasn’t there. She felt her heart sink. Was he so mad that ge decided to leave..? Alex didn’t want that. She at least didn’t want them to part ways like this. Grabbing her keys she swings the door ooen, ready to run out and chase after him— only to bump right into the cat.]

[ Stepping back to steady up as he's bumped into, an arm protectively holds onto Alex so that she also didn't fall from the collision. He's oddly still and reserved compared to usual, but looking up she'll see his ears down in a droop instead of being pinned back.

She could also feel how much the chill had stuck to his clothes and skin, though he showed no signs of being cold. ]

...

[ The admission was embarrassing, but it was better that he explained why he was caught outside. ]

The door doesn't open from this side...

[Alex looks up at him, shocked that he was right there. With his ears drooped and his embarrassment, just some of things she found endearing about him, Alex started to tear up. She'd almost lost that. Her arms go up and pull him into a tight hug.]

I thought you left me...! I thought..I thought you were really gone..!

[She might be squeezing him a little too tightly now, gripping at his cold shirt, but she'd just apologize for that later.]

[ If the squeeze was too tight, Shizuo didn't show any sign of it. Instead he just wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. ]

I mean, I did leave, but it was to get some air. Then when I came back the door was locked and you were sleeping, so...

[ Sliding his head off the top of her head, he instead nuzzles into the size of it. ]

Sorry for scaring you.

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